a leck of updates - again

i'm really really sorry that i don't post anything. you all know that i'm not well since a long time. i had to go to the Hospital 4 times during the last 2 months. i felt dizzy the first three times and the fourth time was the worst. i couldn't breathe and i was shaking and scared. i had to stay in the hospital for the night and the day after that. they gave me pills to calm down and didn't do anything. the doctors said i'm mental but ummmm sorry, i'm NOT! college will start next month and i won't post so much things cause i'm just concentrated on getting better. i'm still scared, that it will be worse again, but i also have to believe that something good is gonna come out of this.