i fell for you and you didn't catch me

i am completely honest now. i fell in love, i really did. i met him 2 months ago, he just came into my life and... there was nothing i could do. we had so much fun and he even kissed me, it was too perfect. he realized he didn't want a relationship but a friendship. i def. don't want to lose him, but being friends with someone you fell in love with is fucking hard.

a leck of updates - again

i'm really really sorry that i don't post anything. you all know that i'm not well since a long time. i had to go to the Hospital 4 times during the last 2 months. i felt dizzy the first three times and the fourth time was the worst. i couldn't breathe and i was shaking and scared. i had to stay in the hospital for the night and the day after that. they gave me pills to calm down and didn't do anything. the doctors said i'm mental but ummmm sorry, i'm NOT! college will start next month and i won't post so much things cause i'm just concentrated on getting better. i'm still scared, that it will be worse again, but i also have to believe that something good is gonna come out of this.

Ich hatte so viele Gründe zu gehen, aber bin geblieben. Du hattest so viele Gründe zu bleiben, doch bist gegangen.

i'm proud to say: i got you ♥

still ill, worse than before

Don't you remember?

''However complicated our friendship got, i shouldn't have let it go, i shouldn't have let you go. BFF means best friend forever.''

''My whole life is falling apart.''
 ''So we'll build it!''

''We're sisters, you're my family, what is you is me, there's nothing that you could ever say to make me let go.''

''You're supposed to be my best friend.''

something really bad happened the last days and this makes me realize even more how much i love and need my parents, life is worthless without the family.

i'm sorry, i'm not perfect

Graduation

TODAAAY! Free, yey!
At first i didn't wanna go to our graduation party but then i went there. and i would have regret it if i didn't.
the teachers had speeches and the students, too. we got our certifications and roses and we took pictures.
i went to the last rank but the photograph pulled me out of it and now i'm in front of the picture, shiiiit, it will be in the newsletter. let's see. i'll post pictures later (:
it's a good feeling to leave this school where so much shit happened and where i only met stupid people. but it's still a little sad. i'm excited for the future (:

i've got a new blog about books and movies, but only in german. maybe i'll write it in two languages, let's see how it works

http://letsmakereviews.blogspot.de/

sorry for the leck of updates - i was ill

you are the most beautiful when you are yourself

say what you think, act how you feel. wear what you want, listen to the music you like, be with you people you wanna be with and stand up for yourself. you are happiest when you can be completely yourself and you are the most beautiful then. it may take time until you find people who really accept and like you the way you are but it's worth it, don't change for anyone (: it also took a while for me to figure this out but now i'm happier than ever more, believe me :*

stuff

what the hell is wrong with you? are you even listening when i talk to you? do you even care what i'm going through? you're right staring, staring right through me, you're right there but it's like you never knew me. do you even know how much it hurts that you gave up on me to be with her?

Feels like I'm drowning. I'm screaming for air. Louder I'm crying but you don't even care. My mind is screaming out I've gotta keep on fighting, but then again it doesn't end.

you don't talk to her the way you talked to me. you don't tell her the things you told me. i made you smile with my pants on, i was always there for you, i always build you up. i made you smile and i protected you. she's just a good fuck. i hope you realize that you had something better - me.

i can't wait to get out of this fucking school 'cause everything there reminds me of him. i wanted you to stay with me...

Who you gonna call ?

If the world is ending
Right this second
If the sky is gonna fall
Who you gonna call?

Sitting on the phone in my hotel room
All my friends are gone and I'm missing you
Been so long, so long
Tell me now who you gonna call?

The fight is stronger than our forgiveness
Been too long, too long
Tell me now who you gonna call?

a real loser...

oh my god, go hiding in a corner and cry, i do what i want and i'll never change that

I guess you know I'm bad. I got a problem with you. You can tell me nothing and you can't buy respect (:

news

hey everyone!
school is going to end next month, hell yes, finally! can't wait to leave this bitches forever
I will get a blackberry soon, jeeeeey (: it's good cause i don't have facebook and instagram and all this stuff on that mobile phone.
you may not understand why it's good. i don't want these virtual things anymore, i'm trying to build a GOOD real life and get to know good people, 'cause when you know the right people real life gets so much better
look forward to this (:

Demi Lovato ft. Cher Lloyd - Really don't care

But even if the stars and moon collide, I never want you back into my life
You can take your words and all your lies, oh oh oh I really don't care
Even if the stars and moon collide, I never want you back into my life
You can take your words and all your lies, oh oh oh I really don't care
Oh oh oh I really don't care

Now if we meet out on the street I won't be running scared
I'll walk right up to you and put one finger in the air
And make you understand, and make you understand
You had your chance, had your chance

 

i'm done here

done with that girl, done with all these fake people in this city. i told her that she's like my old best friend - a bitch. but i was wrong. she's worse and i've had enough. so i'm still watching out for real friends.

fuck off, girl

i'm really angry and disappointed at the moment. you only get to meet people that are shit and some day you'll get tired of it. this is what's happening to me right now.
you expect a lot from people and then they fuck it up. we're not kids anymore, so why are they acting like that? we should be able to build friendships and relationsships but everyone is just fake and acting like a little child. that sucks.

mother's day :*

“There are 7 billion people on this planet who I have not met,
and 195 countries I have not visited.
Yet I am stuck in this insignificant town,
Being pressured into making decisions about my future,
When I barely even know who I am.”

hi (:

selfie

keep that in your mind

if you go, you're a joke. i forgot to laugh.

this is my oath to you (:

Cher Lloyd is the best, haters can kiss my ass.

sorry, i didn't mean to rhyme.

hell yeah (:

final exams will start in less than 2 weeks! i'm learning so much and it's going well at the moment. at first it was hell, than it was alright. maybe it will get worse soon again, i don't know.
but i'm really happy to do that. i'm a little nervous. everybody says that growing up is hard but they forget to mention how exciting it can be (:
it feels like life can finally start after i graduate. and i can't wait for this (:

Jersey Shore, YAY!

Just started to watch it. You guys can say what you want, but it's good. It shows you the real life, not some unrealistic crap. At first I thought the guys are assholes and the girls are bitches but after a while you get to know them and see their personalities. I wish there would be people like them in my fucking town!

Yeah, they're sometimes arrogant, stupid, they're fighting, drinking and so on, but that is just how life works.  But it's not just that. You can see their friendships, how they're having fun together or how they fall in love and start serious relationships. I really really like that (:

Final exams in 2 weeks and the way i'm feeling at the moment

What my teacher said: your exams will be soon!

What I heard: Happy Hunger Games!

so, i'm really going crazy at the moment

the next time i'll go out with a guy, i'm gonna do this

how animals eat

I'll always believe in Boston

It's one of the cities that i fell in love with and want to travel to. so when i heard what happened during the marathon i cried. what the fuck is going on? boston is probably the only major city that if you fuck with them, they will shut down the whole city... stop everything... and find you, bastards. the people who did this deserve the worst. to all my readers living in / nearby boston: stay safe please, i love you! <3
But Boston has to be the toughest city in the country in one of the toughest states and i'll always believe in this city.

''Boston, the United States of America will stand with you as you recover. As you learn to walk. As you learn to run. Because you will run again. You will run.''
— President Obama (at the Boston Memorial Service 2013) 

And america really need tougher laws on arms. i think i don't have to explain why, just think about all these things that happened during the last time.

You always feel ashamed that someone could be that important that without them you feel nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. And when it’s over, when it’s gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff bad so that you could have the good

tomorrow

tomorrow is the first day of School after the holidays. and this fuckin day will start with a presentation in front of 40 People and this whole thing will take 90 minutes. when something goes wrong, everything turns into shit. i'm feeling sick since yesterday. i don't even know why, but i am really scared and nervous. so i will write down some things here now that can Keep me calm and maybe help other ones.

- just 90 minutes. they will end, no matter how it goes

- everyone has to go through this shit

- i'm not alone, i have my 3 group members

- i can feel a lot better tomorrow

- what if i need to throw up? well, there are bins and toilets

- the classes don't care what we're saying and a lot of them won't even listen

- everyone will forget our presentation or at least they won't care after it's over

- why do i even care? i don't even like these people and they're stupid

- in 3 months schoool will be over FOREVER!

- it's the last big presentation that we need to do

- school is just a little part of life, after that i can go home and relax

tumblr stuff